Friday, January 29, 2010

A Wish


A hole in my heart
your love
speaks to me
if i could be completed
if i could be full
if i could be happy
i'd know it
i have it in your smile

With your arms around me
suddenly it hurts less
the bruise, internal
doesn't ache again when i breathe

All this time
the love was there
inside me, stored away
with noone to give it to
it became my own dear pain

and now i have a reason
a reason to dance through the halls
i have been seen beautiful
i have been made tall

God, I'll never forgive you
for this joy inside my heart
i'll spend my whole trying to thank you
to make you smile
to make you cry with happiness like i do
sometimes

with every love you give me
i'm abled to give to someone
and somehow it will return back to you
in abundance
this is a wish
that i have

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Growing Up


Growing Up
Growing up has taught me
Many things-sweet and bitter.
I cherish the sweet ones,
And dump the others.
In the attic of my soul.

But, when I am down and unhappy
When my mind is storm-ridden,
They crawl one by one-
Down the stairs of the attic
To stone my spirit-
With taunts and fears infinite
I had tried desperately to forget.

Cherish rest of your life

It's hard, from within the storm of every day life, to see things with real perspective, to know what's important and what's simply pressing on our consciousness right now, demanding attention.
We have people emailing us for information and requesting action, we have phone calls and visitors and a long to-do list and a million chores and errands to run and all of the slings and arrows of our daily reality … and yet, what is important?
Ask yourself this: if you suddenly found out you only had 6 months to live (for whatever reason), would the thing in front of you matter to you?
Would those 20 emails waiting for a response matter? Would the paperwork waiting to be processed matter? Would the work you're doing matter? Would the meetings you're supposed to have matter? Would a big car and nice house and high-paying job and cool computer and mobile device and nice shoes and clothes matter?
I'm not saying they wouldn’t matter … but it's important to ask yourself if they would.
What would matter to you?
For many of us, it's the loved ones in our lives. If we don't have loved ones … maybe it's time we started figuring out why, and addressing that. Maybe we haven't made time for others, for getting out and meeting others and helping others and being compassionate and passionate about others. Maybe we have shut ourselves in somehow. Or maybe we do have loved ones in our lives, but we don’t seem to have the time we want to spend with them.
When was the last time you told your loved ones you loved them? Spent good quality time with them, being in the moment?
For many of us, doing work that matters … would matter. That might mean helping others, or making a vital contribution to society, or creating something brilliant and inspiring, or expressing ourselves somehow. It’s not the money that matters, but the impact of the work. Are you doing work that matters?
For many of us, experiencing life would matter — really being in the moment, finding passion in our lives, seeing the world and traveling, or just seeing the world that’s around us right now, being with great people, doing amazing things, eating amazing food, playing.
These are just a few ideas … but what would matter to you?
I highly recommend that you spend at least a little time now, and regularly, thinking about this question … figuring out what really matters … and living a life that shows this.
How do you live a life that puts a great emphasis on what matters? Start by figuring out what matters, and what doesn't. Then eliminate as much as you can of the stuff that doesn't matter, or at least minimize it to the extent possible. Make room for what does matter.
Make the time for what does matter … today. Put it on your schedule, and don't miss that appointment. Make those tough decisions — because choosing to live a life that is filled with the important stuff means making choices, and they’re not always easy choices. But it matters.
Spend time with your significant other, show them how important they are. Take the time to cuddle with your child, to read with her, to play with her, to have good conversations with her, to take walks with her. Take time to be in nature, to appreciate the beauty of the world around us. Take time to savor the little pleasures in life.
Because while you might not have only 6 months to live, I'm here to break the news to you: you really do only have a short time to live. Whether that's 6 months, 6 years or 60 … it's but the blink of an eye.
The life you have left is a gift. Cherish it. Enjoy it now, to the fullest. Do what matters, now.

Who cares?


I gave my heart,
my soul…
my love
to you!
What did I get in return?

False memories! !

Why did you tell me you love me…
if you didn’t?
Why did you tell me you love me…
if you couldn’t?
Why did you tell me you love me…
if you wouldn’t?

Was I strung along
to keep me happy?
Or did you fear
I’d go out of my head?

You’re wrong! ! ...

But I still love you
I still love you
I still love you…oh

Even if you don’t care! !

You left me
standing there
Alone with my heart
in the dirt
I should have known,
this was going to hurt

I must be a beast…
because no one stays
close to me
I must be released…
love seems so pointless
to me
You’re always displeased…
Something’s not right
with me

It wasn’t you it’s just me
It wasn’t you it’s just me
It wasn’t you it’s just me

If it’s not meant to be
Then it’s not meant to be…
If it’s not meant to be
Then it’s not meant to be…
If it’s not meant to be
Then it’s not meant to be…

Sometimes I feel I just wasn’t meant to be
Sometimes I feel this world wasn’t meant for me
Sometimes I feel nothing was meant for me

Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to feel
I don’t want to feel this out

The Wind

Who has seen the wind?
Neither I nor you;
But when the leaves hang trembling,
The wind is passing through. (Part I)
Who has seen the wind?
Neither I nor you;
But when the leaves hang trembling,
The wind is passing through.

(Part II)
Who has seen the wind?
Neither you nor I;
But when the trees bow down their heads,
The wind is passing by.


O wind , why do you never rest,
Wandering, whistling to and fro,
Bring rain out of the west,
From the dim north bringing snow?

The Miss of Love



Wherever you are I'll always be here waiting for the day we can once meet again.
The miss of a lost love can darken the soul. Wishing to see her in the moonlight or day can cause pain and it does in my heart. Her walk was of a God and her eyes were of the dove Lost am I in this world without her. Her touch her sound the kiss of forever and the words that came to be.
She died in my arms, and the pain will never go away. Some nights I cry praying for her to be here, but only alone I come to be. If only someone knew how the pain burns like fire slowly burning the heart. Tears are the only memory of her and her smile.
No cure could be found and it was only up to God's time. So many things I still wanted to say to her and so much to do with so little time. Like to take a walk through a park and hold hands as the birds fly free with the wind or to make love on a beach as the waves crash to the shore. She was my true love and to see her go away kills my soul.
I did all I could to make her time happy, we talked about memories and stories, went to the tree outside our house were I asked her to marry me, but most of the time I just watched her get sicker and sicker and on the day of her death I blew out the candle of our dreams never to light it again.
Wherever you are I'll always be here waiting for the day we can once meet again. For when the day comes tears of the past will be gone and tears of the future will lead the way.